2 steps forward, 3 steps back

I never thought this journey would be easy. I didn't think I would snap my fingers and be there. But, I never expected the hurdles we are jumping, sometimes stumbling over. Things are not lining up and situations are pushing our move date further back.

I haven't written in a while because I didn't know how to put to words all the emotions I have been feeling. It's very much an emotional roller coaster for sure.  I have even given up twice. I have had to dig deep inside to have a positive attitude. It's hard to put on a fake smile. One thing I am not is fake. But for all involved, kids mostly, I have tried to find silver linings. 

We have recently found it that we will be welcoming another little Winters beginning of June. And while I am happy for the new life growing inside of me, the situation does push move day back to mid/late summer. It also makes daddy not want to "camp" when we arrive. He wants a home for a newborn. That is something we have been struggling with. We just don't have the bulk of money needed to buy a mobile home or log cabin.

Then, of all times for this to happen, the truck broke. No work for over a month. Savings for a home in Tennessee.........used to live. He has been searching and searching for a job with no luck at all. Even offshore. Nothing. At all. The lack of finances is beginning to take a toll. By this time next month, we will have had to turn off lots of extras. It is not a good thing for a man to feel like he has failed. Men are meant to protect and care for his family. This has taken a toll on the old man.

I did have a good news today. I did win 24 hatching eggs from breeds I have been wanting. That was a good thing. The kids and I have been wanting to hatch more, even though I know this means more chickens to move. But, we love chicks.